Boasts, 2022

Following an ancient and hoary heathen tradition, going back at least 20 years, I will now make my New Years Boasts.  Boasts are like resolutions, but ya know, more Germanic like.

First, I shall boast of my accomplishments in 2021.  Through the events of the last couple of years I have returned to training dogs, and my business has soared.  When I left the industry in 2015 out of boredom, I was the 800 pound gorilla of dog training in my community.  Anyone else who trained had to explain to their potential client why they shouldn’t go to Doug. I never had to explain to a client why they should come to me. Frankly, last year was better than I could have ever expected.

Though this was a great year financially (a good heathen, like a good Protestant, never apologizes for economic success), the more personally rewarding aspect is helping dog owners and their canine companions. I love dogs, I want the best for them, and I get great spiritual meaning from helping people learn to communicate with and enjoy their furry family members. Not to get too esoteric, but the dog/human bond goes beyond anything science can explain. I advocate for canines, but I also feel that I advocate for Dog himself, if you catch my drift. 

Now, I shall make my boasts for 2022.

May my gods, ancestors, and community hear my boasts, and recognize them.  May they all hold me accountable for my actions, praise my accomplishments, and give me a great big old pile of shit-talk for failure.

I will hold to the wise council of Odin himself, with regard to delicious alcohol, and abstain from drunkenness in 2022.  I will drink moderately, of course, because I’m not some Baptist fun-Nazi, but at no point will I drink beyond a couple of drinks. Three seems about right.  Four at the most, no further.

I will continue to grow my clientele and business; helping the good dogs of my community live well with their beloved human families. 

I will improve my health by eating more moderately, adding good food daily and decreasing all the delicious junk food and food from clown’s faces.

I will improve my health by exercising:  using hammer, sword, and good rural trail to become stronger, leaner, and less of a fat, lazy American.

May all the gods, wights, and holy powers hear my boasts and aid their kin in attaining these goals.  May my community hear my boasts and hold my lazy ass to the fire to make sure I accomplish them.

Damn, it feels good to be a heathen.